,
There are many ways we come to understand ourselves. Sometimes it is through following our curiosities and paying attention to the discoveries that delight us. Sometimes we hear people who see us more clearly than we may be able to see ourselves talk about us or comment on our actions and behavior. The opportunities to better understand our innate abilities, our strengths and
weaknesses, are vast, but with each of these opportunities in order to deepen our understanding of ourselves, we must be present. We must be in the moment paying attention and open to what we may discover.
This past week a former student needed a respite from their day. Their anxiety was palpable as I came across them in the hall, and so I offered breathing room away from the hustle and bustle in a quiet classroom. It was clear the student wanted to decompress, but I wasn't a counselor, so I quickly reached out to those in our building who are. In the meantime, while we waited, the student began to share, and
gradually, the student's tension began to subside visually. I did my best to listen, as I realized in that moment so many similar moments I have had in my past - distant and recent - when there was no real possible way a listener could understand what I was trying to say as the words I was using were vague, pained and perhaps confusing to me the speaker; however, what I was seeking most immediately was to be seen, to be heard, and in each of these, sincerely by someone who knew me prior to that
moment. Similarly to the student, in such moments, we seem to all of a sudden find ourselves in a ball of angst or quandary of uncertainty, and all we want is for some whom we trust, to reassure us that all will be well, and that this moment of perplexity will pass.
Sometimes we are given the opportunity to understand ourselves more fully, what we need and why, when we are present and fully attentive to seemingly obtuse situations that we think have nothing directly to do with us, yet actually act as a mirror to test if we are as self-aware as we think. In such moments, if we are truly present, our empathy deepens. We not only become a better person for others to engage
with but a better friend to ourselves as we begin to understand our own language far better than we might have comprehended leading up to such moments.
In a matter of 10-15 minutes, the student's anxiety had visibly lessened, though not everything was solved; however, it appeared a bit more self-confidence had been restored as the student felt heard, seen, supported. They thanked me, went about their way and their day, and the counselor received an update as they arrived after all had been resolved.
Life has a funny way of both teaching us something about ourselves as well as reminding us how to better engage with the world, how to be a better human to other humans. When we can fully understand ourselves, we can better and more helpfully and healthily engage with others. We may not solve the other person’s problem if there happens to be one as only the individual who is going through their frustration
can do that, but we can perhaps be fully what only we can be and along the way offer a healthy helping hand.
Lessons to learn more about ourselves are ever-present if we open ourselves up to their gifts. Enjoy the journey of discovery and see the moments of growth as you step into your fullest realization of all that you are.
In today's newsletter, the new monthly post - Weekend Ponderings . . . - is shared, as well as the regularly weekly posts you have come to enjoy and expect. In this week's episode of the podcast, Paris is calling and what to wear in winter. The This & That is especially full with articles to read, books to peruse and shopping items for the upcoming spring season. I want to thank you for
choosing to subscribe to TSLL's weekly newsletter, and may the weekend be exactly what you have been looking forward to.
Until next week, I will see you on the blog.
