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I recently discovered how necessary living in the present moment is to living a life of contentment during an unexpected situation in which I had a choice to enflame, to stand aside or to engage to provide calm.
If I had chosen to enflame, it would have been quite easy as I would not have needed to keep my emotions in check; I needed only to be rash and reactive and not think about likely consequences.
If I had chosen to stand aside, my attention could have wandered to the future, making plans and getting excited and even wandered to the past as I removed myself mentally from the situation, attempting to avoid excess stress or strife.
Or I could have chosen to engage in a manner that provided calm to as many people in the situation as possible, taking a risk that I may become the target, but with the greater potential of allowing all involved to avoid inflicting more pain and frustration, and preserve, as much as possible, the respect of everyone, not just a few, in the room.
When we choose the latter option, it requires of each of us to be fully present in the moment. It demands that we listen attentively, actively and compassionately. By compassionately I mean we must listen not only with our ears but with our eyes as well - observing mannerisms, facial expressions and nervous tics. In tandem, we must apply the knowledge we have from previous occasions that might be
helpful to understand the stress, strain, or sensitivities that have been triggered without being recognized. And so long as we act in good faith to help more than just the "side" that we may most often align, we actually help everyone in the situation.
How is this possible? When we are present in such a way, we know what to say, we know how and to whom to say what without fueling the contention in the room even further.
When we choose the latter option: staying present so that we may engage in a manner that provides calm, we reduce the stress in the room, we demonstrate that there is more than meets the eye to the casual onlooker and we acknowledge that humans have bad days as well as triggers that we may never fully understand. But in so choosing the latter option, we can be more aware and not feed the
flames that will lead somewhere far worse than would make sense to the unknowing newbie who blindly stepped into a situation unaware of the hornets' nest that is a perfect storm of triggers, sensitivities and long-held and undealt with pain.
Choosing to be present in our everyday lives not only helps us elevate the life we have thoughtfully curated and enjoy living each day, it also helps us better navigate the difficult moments as well.
I could not have predicted the situation that I found myself just two days ago, but I am thankful for how it resolved itself. And if I in some way improved the situation by choosing the latter option, as it seemed nearly everyone in the room walked out with a lighter step and a sigh of relief, then perhaps it is all the more reason to be present even, and especially, when we are exhausted
and the day is nearing an end and we'd rather escape into our minds to someplace else rather than where we have to be when we do not want to be where we are.
The Thanksgiving holiday is now six days away here in the states, and perhaps knowing how to navigate well situations that will involve many different people as well as sensitivities, will calm your nerves if you have any at all. Hopefully you do not and are eager for the holiday season to commence. In today's newsletter discover a full post of 10 Ways to Prepare for the Winter Holidays.
As well, my guest on the podcast this week will take us to Provence during the holidays as she shares how she most enjoys experiencing the holidays in this favorite part of France.
I do hope you enjoy this week's newsletter, and thank you again for choosing to subscribe. Until next Friday, I will see you on the blog. Bonne
journée.
