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"The root of self-care is setting boundaries." —Nedra Glover Tawwab

When I read this simple statement, I unconsciously began nodding my head in agreement as I understood and knew this to be true; however, we are too often taught that self-care is indulgent. Plain and simple, self-care is not indulgent; it is necessary, and the self-care that licensed counselor Tawwab is speaking about is the necessity of setting boundaries in our lives beginning with saying no to people and responsibilities we have been saying yes too that drained our energy, amped up our stress and took away precious time we need to be and feel our best. 

Tawwab's book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A guide to reclaiming yourself will inspire an upcoming episode in November on the podcast, but I wanted to share with you a few powerful insights as simply hearing someone, an expert in the field of well-being and mental health reminding us of such powerful truths is often the nudge we need to communicate and take action when it comes to setting boundaries we had not previously done but doing so is long overdue.

In addition to self-care involving setting boundaries, one symptom of not setting boundaries is having a mind that has difficulty shutting off and constantly replays thoughts. How is this directly related to boundaries, you may be wondering? When you don't make enough time for what you need to take care of your well-being, your mind is unconsciously racing to figure out how to get everything done and worrying becomes an unhealthy default habit because you haven't set boundaries that will protect you from being asked to do 'one more thing', etc., etc. 

Tawwab explores this truth of mind exhaustion far more in-depth, but when I read this I related immediately and understood intimately what it felt like to have an over-active mind. All along my mind was demonstrating, indirectly telling me, to set boundaries - my needs do matter, my feelings absolutely matter, and if expressing them in a direct, calm approach sends people off into the great unknown never to be heard of again, or they respond negatively, that - "when people respond in an unhealthy way", Tawwab shares, "is typically a sign that you needed limits a long time ago and that you need to reevaluate the relationship to assess whether you needs are being met satisfactorily." In other words, while you may be scared to set boundaries, it is not how the recipient responds that will determine the path forward. Rather, whether they remain and accept your boundaries or head for the hills, your needs will be met because you know what you need to live well and care for yourself and you have set your boundaries to ensure you are taken care of. 

In my own life, especially over the past nine months as I have stepped into the conscious changes I have made in my own life and schedule, more healthy boundaries have been set, and as such, my mind is calmer, my ability to halt it from overthinking stronger and in large part, after reading what Tawwab has shared, I am now realizing that by setting boundaries, in my work and personal life, I have given myself space to care for myself and thus find the strength to know with clarity and have the emotional courage to speak up and then act as necessary when it comes to boundary settings. 

I don't want to get to far ahead of myself, so be sure to look for a new episode this coming Wednesday (episode #343) to explore in-depth this powerful necessity in our lives - Setting Boundaries. I cannot wait to share more and highly recommend Tawwab's book. 

Now to this month's newsletter. Full of cooking videos and recipes, two detailed style inspiration posts - one a podcast episode, the other a multi-outfit of the month post, and four Monday Motivational posts along with all of the regular monthly posts you look forward to each month. 

If you haven't stopped by the blog in October, you will notice in the images below a new addition to the family 🐾🐾❤️❤️. I will be introducing her properly tomorrow in the monthly A Cuppa Moments, so be sure to explore becoming a TOP Tier Member as I will share many more photos and videos as well as the story of how she came to be in our lives (along with the regular month conversational topics and a lengthy video collage of autumnal walks with Norman). 😌

Thank you for choosing to subscribe to the monthly newsletter. Wishing you a most wonderful November, and until Wednesday November 30th, I will see you on the blog.

—Shannon

~To explore every post you wish to read, be sure to become a member to one of the two tiers - BASIC or TOP as non-members can only read five posts a month (it will reset on the first of each month - tomorrow!). Please note that prices for all membership will increase in January 2023. If you purchase your Membership before this month, your price will remain the same so long as you keep your Membership Active.